Posts Tagged ‘Yu Darvish’

The Most Pun You’ll Ever Have In a Baseball Blog

April 13, 2012

I love puns. I even still say “Oh, dear” when I see a deer on the side of the road. And chuckle to myself. It’s a personal problem.

I also love baseball. And with a plethora of goofy names at my disposal, I find myself stumbling across accidental puns every single day when talking baseball.

Now, I like my fantasy baseball a lot. But I’m curious – would one of my teams drafted purely on stats and analysis, beat my newest team? The one I’m going to build right here in front of your very eyes? The all-time pun team??

Here goes nothin’:

Catcher – John Buck

Get your mind outta the gutter, people! No cussing necessary! We could be talking about how John “bucks” the trend of most catchers. Perhaps he wears one of those big, stupid cowboy belt Buck-les. When he hits a homer, is it like Buck-shot?

Honorable mention – A.J. Ellis: What the Ellis going on?!

First Base – Justin Smoak

Too easy. He hit a home run in Japan to kick off the 2012 season, and I saw no less than 3,587 tweets within ten minutes about how Justin “Smoaked” the ball. When he’s playing poorly, could he be “smoaking” too much druggage? In a rain delay is he Smoak on the water?

Honorable mention – Adam Dunn: Get ‘er Dunnnnnnn!

Second Base – Jemile Weeks

One of the things I’m really looking forward to this season is for Weeks to start heating up. When he drops a big bomb this year, it’ll be a lot of fun to pull out the double whammy: “He hit that ball a Je-mile! It took Weeks to come down!”

Honorable mention – Dan Uggla: Ohhh man, that was an Uggla swing. (Like…ugly? No?)

Third Base – David Wright

Not only is Wright one of the best players in baseball when healthy, you can expect plenty of easy puns with that last name. Is grabbing David as my third baseman the Wright move? You tell me!

Honorable mention – David Freese: Tonight’s forecast…a FREEEEEEESE!

Shortstop – Derek Jeter

“Jeters never prosper” is still one of the best fantasy team names I’ve ever seen. I really can’t think of much else that works for him but “cheater.” Given the massive amount of fans that seem to hate him, I guess that’s appropriate though.

Honorable mention – Troy Tulowitzki: He threw that ball wayyyyyy Tulo. Heh.

Outfielders – Corey Hart, Andre Ethier, Hunter Pence

That Corey guy on the Brewers really has a Hart of gold doesn’t he? Ethier that or all the ladies Hart Corey! I can’t decide – I Ethier take Andre or Hunter. But Hunter always swings for the Pences.

Honorable mentions – Ryan Braun, Shane Victorino, Jay Bruce: Despite being so Brauny, Jay is a Bruce cannon. Can he still get a Victori…no.

Starting Pitchers – Mark Buehrle, Roy Halladay, Yu Darvish, Matt Cain, Mike Minor

For the defense behind Roy, it feels like a Halladay when he’s pitching. Cain Mark be any more Buehrle? And the Yu puns are just a Minor offense. Do Yu think Yu knows all the words to Yu-th of a Nation by P.O.D.? I surely do. But, do Yu?

Honorable mentions – Doug Fister, Chris Sale, Matt Moore, J.A. Happ, Phil Hughes: It’s a fire Sale in Chicago this year…could they be any Moore pathetic? I guess it’s just Happ-enstance. Chicago fans must be Hughes-d to it by now. (No, I’m not going to even try with Fister…use your imagination, you dirty scoundrels…)

Relief Pitchers – Grant Balfour, J.J. Putz, Brandon League, Jason Motte

I can’t think of a surname worse for a pitcher than Balfour. Usually, that means you just walked the guy. J.J. really Putz people in their places in this League. Was that play even League-l? He’s definitely Motte your average closer.

Honorable mentions – Todd Coffey, Javy Guerra, Aaron Crow, Tyler Chatwood: I could really use a good cup of Coffey. Sweet Crow hop, Aaron! You know what Chatwood be weird? Talking about Javy the Guerracuda. (Okay, that’s my own creation on the last one. I just love me some Javy in the 9th inning!)


There you have it. The all-pun team of 2012! My outfield and pitching is pretty loaded, but I could use a little help at catcher, first and shortstop. I’m accepting all and every trade, so comment below and send those ideas my way! Happy Friday the 13th…don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @Jamblinman. Thanks for reading.

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Debut Battle: C.J. Wilson vs. Yu Darvish

April 9, 2012

We have two A.L. West pitchers making debuts with their new teams today. In Arlington, it’s the Japanese sensation, Yu Darvish, making his first official start in America (against Ichiro’s Seattle Mariners, no less). And the Angels will throw their big off-season acquisition C.J. Wilson against the Twins.

So, who will do it better today?

I feel that this is an even playing field seeing that both are facing bad offenses. Although, Darvish does have the benefit of playing in front of a home crowd.

My gut is telling me Wilson will have a better game. Partially because he put up stellar numbers last year as a member of the Rangers in the regular season. He has a really electric fastball from the left side and can break you off, too.

Darvish has a full arsenal of pitches at his disposable as well, but he’s unproven outside of Japan. He got hit hard by a couple Padres in Spring Training, which is never a good sign. Still, I’m expecting a quality start out of Darvish.

I just think Wilson will put up a GREAT start today. My predictions are as follows:

Wilson (LA): 7.2 IP, 4 H, 1 ER, 8 K, 1 BB

Darvish (TEX): 6.1 IP, 6 H, 3 ER, 5 K, 2 BB

Both teams will win. But in the battle of newly-inked aces, Wilson gets the nod today!

Yu WISH Yu Could Podcast Like This

March 12, 2012

If Yu follow this blog, Yu know how liberally I Yuse puns. This is just pun overload today. But really, it’s a secret plug for the best-kept-secret in the podcast business, Three Up, Three Down!

We finished our second episode last night and it’s been live for a couple hours today. Just to recap, we talked a lot about our normal divisional news and then hit the big topic – Yu Darvish and Yeonis Cespedes. Imported players making MLB debuts and absolutely dazzling, to say the least.

And for the first time in 3u3d history, we actually catered to our namesake. We had our first “Three Up” and “Three Down” – three songs we would love to hear Yu Darvish warm up to in Arlington, and three songs we definitely don’t want to hear him warm up to.

That segment alone is worth listening. But the rest of the time was filled with a lot of great banter, analysis and a damn good time talking baseball. If Yu are like us, and impatiently awaiting Opening Day, then grab a half hour, a cold beer and your compYUter.

Because downloading or streaming the Three Up, Three Down podcast is as easy as 1-Yu-3. I can’t stop! I won’t stop!

So far, the re-vYUs have been nothing but golden for the podcast, and we’re still pushing our Facebook page and blog on everyone who will listen. Additionally, we can be followed on Twitter @3u3d. Here is the link for the podcast, or if you’re feeling especially awesome, you can search for “Three Up, Three Down” in the podcasts section of iYunes (is that one a copyright infringement? Yoops…)!

Once Yu decide that Yu love the podcast as much as we do, feel free to shoot us a congratulatory email at 3u3dbaseball@gmail.com. Yune in for Episode 3 next week, and until then…listen close! We wouldn’t Yu to miss anything.

All Apologies

March 11, 2012

I’m ashamed. The ruling is in…GUILTY! For the first time since starting Jam Shots, I’ve failed to post. Yesterday will be forever empty on the calendar. “Daily relapse of a raging sportsaholic,” huh? Apparently not.

I blame the daylight savings time change. I blame the steroids. I blame the Germans. Hopefully you will all forgive me. I know I’ve let you down immensely. But we can shake hands, move on, and I’ll rock your world from now on. I solemnly swear to never miss a day again.

Okay, the truth is…I was having a good ol’ college Saturday: Drinking with the roommate and the parents (on their tab – oh, the joys of still living at home!). Can’t blame me for that, can you?

Back to my old habit – sports talk.

First, let’s talk podcasts. Later today I am recording episode two of Three Up, Three Down. If you missed it last Monday, you missed six incredibly knowledgeable, smooth-talking baseball fans spewing news and analysis at you. You don’t want to miss it this time. We’ll be talking divisional news, Yu Darvish, and maybe even some predictions for you. Look for it tomorrow at this somewhat famous website (yeah, we’re that good), and while you’re waiting, give us a follow at @3u3d on Twitter.

Also, I’ve been invited to co-host FanvsFan.com’s weekly live national podcast, MLB Inside the Numbers. Friday was my first go at it, and I’m actually listening to it right now. I gotta say…it went well. It was a lot of fun, having guests on air and debating with a couple of guys who really know their baseball. Feel free to check it out HERE and tune in at 6pm Pacific Standard Time next Friday for the next episode.

Although I won’t be there next week. Bad timing. I got a cool Fan Caver to show the Bay Area to. Listen either way.

Speaking of baseball, did anyone see what I saw in Spring Training yesterday? Yeonis Cespedes hitting the ball to Cuba from Arizona? Check this out – he turned on a high and outside pitch and hit it at least 700 feet to left field. No doubt. Okay not really. But if you’re an A’s fan, you’ve gotta love the start. Two for two, a home run and two RBI? Looks like an MVP to me.

One last thing – a little breaking news. According to BleacherReport.com’s push notification on my phone JUST NOW, the San Francisco 49ers are working out Randy Moss. Before Niner fans freak out, think about it. We are in the same situation as the Patriots were. If we don’t like his attitude or work ethic, cut him. But if he’s ready to be part of this team, he will immediately become the best receiver on the field. Helloooooo Super Bowl!

Well, I have to get ready for the aforementioned Three Up, Three Down podcast. Please tune in! You won’t regret it.

Remember to follow the blog, listen to the podcast, follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook!

Until tomorrow…


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