Posts Tagged ‘The Sandlot’

And the Oscar Goes to…

February 27, 2012

…Angelina Jolie for her skeleton-in-a-dress outfit! Yay for jokes that are already old. But seriously, when did she go from being super hot to just kinda creepy-looking? Way to go, Brad.

I hate Mondays. We all do. While I was laying in bed this morning after being woken up by this glorious song (daily routine – try it, you’ll love it…money-back guarantee), I was brainstorming what to write for Jam Shots today. And by brainstorming, I mean my brain was starting like a car in the snow. Enough to keep me breathing, basically. And after I valiantly wrestled (and lost) with the idea of calling in sick to work due to exhaustion/Monday morning blues/nomotivation-itis, it dawned on me.

I can write an entertaining, sports-related blog that is timely because it is formatted after an awards show. And it will be fun and easy. Like I need Mondays to be. So, here goes:

Best Supporting Actor – LeBron James: I love the guy, and he’s the best athlete in the NBA, but let’s be real here. He’s not the go-to guy. Every player, coach and fan in the Miami Heat organization wants the ball in Dwyane Wade’s hands with the game on the line. I didn’t watch the NBA All-Star Game this weekend (nor the dunk contest…I was watching water boil instead. I found it much more exhilarating), but even Amish folk must have heard that LeBron passed up a game-winning shot with Kobe prodding him on.

Best Director – Davey Johnson: Okay, this is a completely unjustified selection. But so was Nick Nolte not winning best supporting actor for Warrior at the real Academy Awards. I don’t care that I haven’t seen the performances of the other four actors in that category. Good for that old dude for winning, but Nolte is old too. And he made me cry multiple times in that damn movie. Oh, right…Johnson. He’s the manager of the Washington Nationals. So this selection is based on my prediction that the Nats take home the N.L. East title this year. That’s an accomplishment that will undoubtedly win Johnson a Manager…er Director, of the Year award.

Best Actor – Kevin Durant: I’m just using simple logic here. The All-Star Game pits the best players in the game against each other. The MVP is the best player in a given league. If A + B = C, and B + C = A, then…oh, hell. I don’t know. But Durant took home the MVP honors in yesterday’s All-Star Game, therefore making him the best player in the NBA. It doesn’t exactly work like that, but he may be on track to lead the league’s best team to the NBA Finals. He’s going to be a front-runner for MVP and deservedly so. The Durantula is super fun to watch, and has an awesome nickname.

Best Picture – Moneyball Baseball: Yes, baseball in general. We’re fully into Spring Training. Which means we don’t have to pretend to care about the shortened NBA season or the Sharks lookin’ like a bunch of bums out on the ice. With the brief exception of March Madness, the next 8 months is all about the diamond. Fresh grass, sunflower seeds, incredibly uncomfortable jock protection, and fuzzy, green mascots. If we’re really talking films, take this into consideration. Some dude on Twitter last night during the Oscars had the balls to Tweet to Jermaine Dye that Moneyball was the best baseball movie ever made. I about fell out of my chair. I’m going to hunt that Tweeter down and shove a copy of The Natural (or The Sandlot. Or A League of Their Own. Or Field of Dreams. Or Bull Durham. Or The Rookie. Or Hardball, even. Get the point?) up his ass.

My version of the Oscars has four awards. Sorry I’m not sorry. And sorry it’s only men. I don’t know enough about women’s sports. But I presume Meryl Streep would be nominated in every category and I hope Octavia Spencer would win one of them, because her speech was awesome. Okay, bye now.

Day 3: COMMENCE!

February 10, 2012

I’m going to make this short and sweet. Because I’m running late again. #Jam @Jam Jam is my name, blogging in no time’s my game. But the reason I’m doing it in a rush before work, rather than in the comfort of my parents’ house, is I was kept up late by the other cool kids vying for a spot in the MLB Fan Cave. I’m a novice Twit, so I was learning as I went, but damn it was fun.

I sat for hours last night on my phone, iPad, laptop…whatever I could get my hands on to make the Tweeting go faster. I dreamed of hash tags and twit pics. Only for six hours though, because before I knew it, the morning was upon me and I had to come here.

The Twonversations (Twitter-conversations) were epic, the Twaughs (getting it yet?) were fantastic, and I’ll never see Bronus -DAMN!- Honus Wagner in the same light. Nor Bro Mauer, Brose Cansecbro or Brohan Santana. My Dodger jersey is going to have to be altered; James Broney is a much more suitable surname.

Take a minute, and join in on what you missed. Follow me @jamblinman and while you’re at it, cast your vote for the best baseball movie ever made. Mine is the Natural. We had votes for the Sandlot, Major League, A League of Their Own, Field of Dreams…the list goes on.

All I know is that this #MLBFanCave thing is really fun, but absolutely killing me. I don’t want it to end. But I do. Because it’s stressful, and exciting and ruining my sleep pattern. It’s like two straight weeks of Christmas Eve, except only 50 people in the world get to anticipate the presents in the morning. While I’m usually humble, I’m damn proud to be apart of that group. If you’d make me one of the final 30 who show up to the tree in the morning, I would love you forever. Because God (and Santa) knows that I don’t want to stop tweeting and twaughing and twalking with these wicked rad finalists I’m competing against.

There goes my phone. Do I even check it? Or ignore…

@Tweet. #Duh.


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