Posts Tagged ‘Roger Goodell’

Bountylicious

May 2, 2012

Holy freakin’ Toledo, Batman! This bounty scandal keeps getting juicier and juicier.

So now Jonathan Vilma is suspended for the ENTIRE year. Three more of the Saints’ better defenders are also suspended for a certain amount of games though all are appealing.

Was it justified to give Vilma the Sean Payton treatment? I don’t know. The details will determine that.

I’m guessing Vilma was either the ring leader of the bounty attacks or there was sufficient evidence to point to his hits actually injuring opponents.

Either way this is a huge blow to the Saints. Their D needs all the help they can get, and this is clearly the exact opposite of “help.”

And for Vilma personally, he’s already in his peak so missing an entire season could be absolutely devastating to his career.

We’ll have to wait for the undoubtedly gruesome details of the investigation. But I highly doubt these suspensions get overturned, based on how strict Roger Goodell had been so far.

All I know for sure is that not even Drew Brees can save this team now. The Saints’ reign at the top of the NFL may have just crumbled into obscurity.

Thanks for reading and tune in tomorrow for more Jam Shots. Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @Jamblinman.

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And the Bounty Increases

April 5, 2012

I really do try to stray from football news, especially on Opening Weekend for Major League Baseball. STOKED for that, by the way. Check out my predictions for today’s games, if you missed it last night.

But when something as ridiculous as the Saints’ Bountygate, as it’s come to be known, dominates the headlines, I have to take a look. And then when aforementioned gate of bounty pops up and is directed specifically at my San Francisco 49ers, I get all Mama Bear on it. Hah. That’s funny to imagine me trying to protect monsters like Patrick Willis and Justin Smith.

Anyway, check out the audio from Gregg Williams, the Saints suspended defensive coordinator:

Pretty messed up, huh? I’ve already heard people defending Williams – “All coaches talk like that in the locker room!” Well, first of all…no, they don’t. Secondly, if a large majority of them do, something needs to change. I can totally get behind “BASH HIS BRAINS IN! LAY HIM OUT! JACK HIM UP!” to get players pumped up before a play. But calling out specific players and where to hit them is absolutely ridiculous.

Kill Frank Gore’s head? First of all, that doesn’t make sense. If you’ve killed a person’s head, chances are you’ve killed his entire body. But I wouldn’t expect an idiot like Williams to understand basic human biology. Anyway, how about taking out Michael Crabtree’s ACL, or hitting Kyle Williams (a very inconsequential player in the whole situation) in the head when he’s already displaying concussion symptoms? That’s something the NFL takes very seriously anyway, and now their coaches…er, former coaches…are targeting those injuries?

This makes James Harrison look like a very intimidating altar boy. I’m glad Roger Goodell cracked down so hard, and I really expect him to uphold the suspensions. Especially after this audio came out today.

By the way, Gregg. How did all that talk work out for you? Smith was scared in pre-season was he? Well he looked pretty good planting and confidently throwing the game-winning touchdown to Vernon Davis to knock your sorry asses out of the playoffs last year.

Maybe coaches of teams like this (high-powered offense, hardly a lick of defense to speak of), should teach their players how to properly tackle or cover a receiver before worrying about breaking a guy in half for a measly sum. It might have helped in that game. Just sayin’.

Oh. And the best part of this? Nobody on the 49ers went down in that game. But someone on the Saints sure did. Irony is fun.

Let’s Play A Game

March 22, 2012

Thank you to Jillian Clark for reminding me today about all my different rage-isms.

I’ve recently discovered internet rage is a flaw of mine. Very similar to something else I have (road rage), it means when someone does something stupid online or the web page is loading too slowly, I feel a sudden burning urge to:

a. Punch a hole through my computer screen

b. Punt the nearest baby or puppy (I only have one of those, and she is really good at fetch so I don’t want her getting hurt)

c. Post an angry comment on some online forum that I’ll never look at again but that will significantly decrease my stress levels

I also have walking rage. So, if you’re walking down the sidewalk, especially in a group, please observe normal humans doing it first so I don’t have to twist and turn like a goddamn Gumby doll to get by you. Assholes.

So now you know. After an exceptionally long intro, let’s focus on that internet rage. We’re going to play a game. Mostly using Yahoo! as my source, we’re going to find all the stupid shit that pisses me off and make a list of things that are falsely portrayed as news. Then we’ll compare it against things that do matter. Why? Because it’ll make me feel better.

NOT NEWS:

1. There was a name mix-up in Diamondbacks camp? How cute! In more important news, that blister on my toe finally popped. This is exactly why people don’t take Yahoo! Sports seriously – 90 percent of their stories are fluff like this.

2. Someone really hates Peyton Manning. Another gem from Yahoo! It’s unique, it’s a little bit morbidly funny, but I don’t know who the dead guy is. I don’t care. Another two minutes of my life wasted.

3. This one makes me want to set a garbage can on fire. So a hot chick has a boyfriend, but Tim Tebow thinks she’s purty and wants her to know that. But oh no, so does Mr. Hockey Player guy on Twitter, even though he was clearly joking! You know what this means…DRAMA! LOVE TRIANGLE! SCANDAL! Shut the hell up.

4. Please don’t make me explain why this is a waste of the good ol’ World Wide Web…

5. And the grand daddy of them all. The one that pissed me off so much that I decided to boycott Yahoo forever. I’m currently in the process of moving over to Gmail. Why? Because this was the LEAD story on Yahoo! a couple of days ago. It was ahead of my #1 for what IS news (see below…and try not to rage at the fact that it was buried underneath Beyonce’s stupid baby bump).

WHAT IS NEWS:

1. This isn’t the Yahoo! story, but it’s very similar. I tweeted out about my personal boycott (I’m sure all 75 followers were very impressed…), but maybe it did make a difference. Because no less than five minutes later, the stories were switched. Sierra Lamar was in the lead, and Beyonce’s belly was not. All was right with the world. But I’m still holding this grudge. Also, this is unbelievably sad – let’s not forget about what really matters.

2. Roger Goodell actually does something right! Normally, that wouldn’t be a story. But paying professional athletes to purposely hurt other professional athletes is not only disgusting and immoral, but sets a turrible example for any aspiring young football player. I’ve been vehemently in favor of harsh punishment of the New Orleans Saints over the “bounty” system that was in place under former coordinator Gregg Williams. Goodell really put the hammer down on the organization, and it’s a huge step in the right direction for the NFL.

3. Wow, this is just incredible. A player collapsing from cardiac arrest on a soccer pitch is a fantastic story, and something that should open up the eyes of everyone in sports. This player is my age and nearly died from a freak heart flaw in the middle of a match, if not for the heroic efforts of the medical staff. The prices we pay for the games we love are crazy.

4. The Million Hoodie March is something I can definitely get behind. If you haven’t heard Trayvon Martin’s tragic tale, Google that immediately. There are many, many layers of further importance buried within this story, from race issues to gun laws. It’s one of those things that just makes me question everything about the country I live in and its policies. Nobody deserves to die the way Martin did.

5. Another star of the 90s is going to retire. And it hurts my heart. Chipper will always be one of those guys I grew up admiring and modeling my game after. Atlanta Braves fans should feel lucky to have had such a stellar player on their team for so many years. I hope he has a fantastic final year and goes out with a bang.

There you have it – now you know. Unless you want angry Jamblinman, you stop supporting the bogus news stories listed above. Start paying attention to the things that matter, whether they are in the sports world or the real world. Otherwise, you’re just wasting your time.

Three Things I’m Happy About Today

March 21, 2012

Yes, it’s that simple. Three things. Today. That make me happy. Lezzgo.

1. Alex Smith resigning with the 49ers made me jump for joy. Literally. I looked ridiculous. I can finally re-open my Smith shrine. And I’m fully looking forward to charging the public per visit once he wins the Super Bowl in 2012-2013. Seriously, the 49ers are a legit Super Bowl favorite now after somehow convincing Alex to forgive them. Don’t forget, they added two very good wide receivers and re-signed all 11 defensive starters. Uh-oh, here comes troubleeeee! (Opposing teams.)

2. Sean Payton was suspended by the NFL and Fuhrer Goodell for the entire season for the bounty mess. I like Payton a lot and I like the Saints, but this was absolutely deserved. If you’re going to pay your players to hurt other players, instead of just preaching old-school, hard-nose football, you are going to pay the price. What ever happened to the desire to win being enough motivation? I’d be happy if Gregg Williams never coaches again in the NFL.

3. Tim Tebow is traded to the New York Jets. This simply makes me happy because I have way too many friends who are Tebow fans. This will not only prove that last year was a fluke (the Jets are a much worse defensive team compared to the Broncos), but it’s going to be absolutely hilarious to watch Tebow and Mark Sanchez try to throw passes. If you like watching car wrecks, welcome to your new favorite team, the New York Jets. Oh, and Rex Ryan is a little bitch.

That’s all I have for you today. Bye-Bye Tebow. Sucks to be you, Ryan and Sanchez. Bye-Bye Payton. Helloooooo Alex Smith! We missed you.

No Wonder

February 28, 2012

No wonder the economy stinks. Terrell Owens is having two Dallas-area condos auctioned off soon. Because he blew all $80 million he made playing in the NFL. Eighty million dollars? How? I can make $80 last a month, and this dude blew $80 million in a decade. Or just under a million a month. He deserves to be bankrupt. Sorry I’m not sorry.

Athletes and former athletes blowing their big fortunes has been a problem in sports (especially the NFL and NBA) for years now. With greater fortune, comes greater risk and responsibility. Unfortunately, according to the radio this morning, over half of former NFL and NBA players are now out of money. I don’t know where it’s all going, but I assume to mansions, cars and diamond-encrusted watches.

I can understand the desire to own such things. I’d like a fancy car someday. I even have my house plans already sketched out (and it ain’t gonna be cheap). And I also know what it’s like to spend my money stupidly. You know what you’re doing as you do it. Sometimes you stop, most of the time you go ahead, justifying it with the assertion that you have another paycheck coming next week, or that you’ll be able to pay if off a few months later.

Well, it doesn’t work like that. If you make $80 million, you factor in losing some to taxes. You factor in the cost of living, whether that be extravagantly or otherwise. You factor in bills and rent and gas money. You factor in paying for food and services and education for your family. That leaves a multi-millionaire with…oh, I don’t know. Multiple millions of dollars.

So, how did T.O. blow such a huge chunk of change in ten years? I don’t know and I don’t care, it just frustrates me beyond belief. Balancing a checkbook takes 10 seconds and is a very simple skill to learn. Hell, hire an accountant to take care of it for you. You have the money.

But instead, players like Owens are turning their ridiculous contracts into ridiculous debts. And I really don’t feel bad. Not because I’m jealous that they are professional athletes making millions of dollars. I am, that’s for sure, but that’s not why I don’t sympathize. It’s because besides the physical commitment that goes with being a celebrity/athlete, there are three things you need to be able to balance: your relationship with teammates, your relationship with the media, and a damn checkbook.

Which of the three sounds most difficult? If you answered option C, you’ve won a prize! Oh wait…Owens was sponsoring this blog and now can’t afford to give you a prize. Sucks to be you.

It’s hard for me to justify being upset that Roger Goodell makes so much money anymore. Because I hear about things like this, where it’s so fiscally irresponsible that I just want to run around screaming and punching walls, and I just can’t comprehend. Most of us sit in a cubicle and type e-mails for 40+ hours a week. And these guys who are blessed with the physical tools to compete at the highest level of sport in the world, are taking it completely for granted.

Tell ya what, T.O. I know you’re looking for a job. So, let’s trade. You take my job and I’ll audition for NFL scouts. I’ll tell you one thing for sure. If I make a roster and get a fat paycheck for catching a freakin’ football and running away from scary-looking dudes, I won’t treat it like Monopoly money.

Rant, end.

Student-Athlete of the Year

February 26, 2012

Far too often, we wake up to the morning news screaming at us about a prolific college football program being suspended for illegal benefits. Or a star linebacker getting busted for dealing drugs. Or a point guard arrested on a rape charge. The thuggery of college sports dominates headlines in America.

Today, we have a beautiful break from that nonsense. We have a walk-on safety at the University of Virginia who is fighting for a worthy cause in the most selfless way possible. According to a Yahoo! Sports article, Joseph Williams is currently on a hunger strike that has lasted eight days thus far, in order “to protest the economic and social injustices perpetrated by the UVa administration against the vast majority of the University’s service-sector employees.”

Wait, really? A kid who graduated high school at age 16, earned a walk-on spot on a D-I football team and has all the open world ahead of him for the taking, is starving himself for men and women who serve the UVa community with their bare hands?

Damn.

That’s class. Apparently, Williams wrote a very nice essay (read it here) detailing the reasons he was striking. Among others, he cited his own past. One of four children raised by a single mom, living in 30 different places as he grew up, makes this a very personal issue for Williams.

And the general Charlottesville, VA area is truly an above-averagely expensive place to live. So $7.25 an hour for some of the hardest working people in the community is not going to cut it.

That’s unjust no matter where it’s taking place. But the fact that Williams and his comrades have the balls to strike and go public about it for the benefit of the workers who are being snubbed, is beyond admirable.

A huge problem in our country is the pay scales are all out of whack. Roger Goodell is making $20 million a year as the NFL commissioner. Oil tycoons make billions of dollars a year to poison the Earth, yet the thousands of teachers and professors educating the future generations of students who may take a stand against these very financial crimes, are struggling to get by.

Where is the justice in that? And a good chunk of student-athletes take their privileges and abuse them. Even if it’s not in an illegal manner, too many student-athletes openly abuse their social standing. That’s not to say that there aren’t good role models – but we only get flooded with negative news.

I just hope for two things. First, that the (vastly overpaid, by the way) powers that be at Virginia take serious consideration to what Williams and the 17 accompanying protesters are doing. And second, that student-athletes everywhere start to realize how much good they can do if fighting for the right causes.

Joseph Williams gets a standing ovation from this blogger. Keep it up, young man.

Roddy > Roger

February 15, 2012

I’m officially rescinding my promise to not talk about football any longer. It’s just not going to happen. The league is way too full of crazy, selfish, headline-busting characters to try to ignore them for a full spring and summer. That being said, blogees, meet blogger. Angry blogger. Vein-poppingly mad blogger. Punt-a-puppy mad blogger.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. That’s not a response to Roddy’s reaction. That’s out of sheer amazement and frustration that one of the most terrible men in sports is making nearly the same salary as the newly minted 9-year, $214 million man, Prince Fielder. Or two and a half times the salary of Roddy White, one of the better wide receivers in the entire NFL.

Athletes make a crap ton too much money as it is. Because really, they are just playing a game. It’s no fault of their own, if you ask me. It’s the market for athletes today. That aside, it’s getting a little ridiculous when the dude who sits in a suit and just tosses fines and rule changes around like Zeus throwing lightning bolts, is making $20 million a year.

What exactly is Roger Goodell being paid to do? Ruin football? In the NFL today, you are not allowed to tackle, not allowed to kick, not allowed to run or breathe or think. And God forbid you wear blue shoelaces instead of white, or else you’re out a cool $30,000.

A bit of an angry exaggeration. But Goodell, while doing great things for player safety in all the wrong ways, has taken the fun completely out of football. What’s wrong with a little dance in the end zone? Who is going to be offended by Joe Horn’s cell phone? Sprint, because Verizon’s 3G service is better? Give me a break.

I can think of about 20 million better ways to spend $20 million than to pay Goodell this ludicrous amount of cash. Like, oh. Mosquito nets in Africa. Increasing the budget for inner city education. Making a dent, a scratch, barely touching the national debt.

Or hey, let’s reimburse the players who were unnecessarily fined over the last few years. Maybe supply all players with better helmets so concussions are reduced. No, no. That’s crazy talk.

Honestly, even if Goodell was a good commissioner, he should be making around $5 million a year tops. There is no way in Hell he should be absolutely pooping all over the paycheck a dynamic receiver who actually trains, runs, catches, scores, wins and puts fans in the seat on a daily basis is getting.

Roddy the Body is correct. Goodell’s salary is a joke. And so is he. And he’s officially moved into a tie with Skip Bayless for most hated man on Earth.

Excuse me while I go EARN some money. Peace.

Roger Goodell Loves Mormons

February 4, 2012

Confused? Mission (HAH, mission!) accomplished! I say Roger Goodell loves Mormons, because he is doing everything he can to move games away from Sunday. It’s football, Roger! Games are played on Sundays. He announced a couple days ago that more games will start moving to Thursday Night Football in order to get more teams on prime time.

That’s awesome, considering people work on Friday mornings and will be less likely to stay up late and watch a game during the week. Sunday mornings are about church for some, NFL football for most. You can wake up late, grab a beer and some chips and relax in your Jamarcus Russell jersey all day. Like the league needs more money and exposure anyway. But it’s an impressive job of word-twisting by the evil commish to make it sound like he’s doing it for the teams’ benefits. Moving football games away from Sunday is like moving Christmas to December 26th because it’s a Friday.

At least Goodell isn’t as stupid as the city of Indianapolis (does that statement now make me the most hated man in Indiana? Send me your hate tweets, I can’t wait to read them). I understand the vision here, but I guarantee it’s going to backfire. People will gladly pay a small “fine,” especially when you give them the benefit of calling it a donation to charity, to be exceedingly intoxicated on Super Bowl weekend. This will be one of those grand experiments gone wrong, mark my words. It’s cute how lazy that Indy P.D. is, but when they are overrun by drunken, trespassing ticket scalpers who have a free pass and will take full advantage, they’re going to wish they had just done their jobs.

We have breaking news in the cycling world! Similar to Tiger Woods for golf, if it’s not Lance Armstrong, it’s not cycling news. But one of the greatest, most unfairly-attacked-by-French-people athletes of all time, is finally off the hook for a crime he never committed. The federal investigation into doping claims against Armstrong and his team has officially been dropped. Everyone knew he was clean; that’s why the case was completely, publicly forgotten about for the last three years.

I guess Lance now gets that justification of being told by those important government scientists that his seven straight Tour de France victories will stand. I wonder how much money they spent probing Armstrong over the last decade? No wonder our country is in financial ruin…by the way, I want to see Barry Bonds try to out-ride that field. That dirty cheater.

Yesterday, I was just begging for the news about Josh Hamilton relapsing to be false. Today I found out it was true. Hamilton faced the media, apologized for his relapse, explained what happened and promised to never let it happen again. I believe in Josh, but when he’s on such a big stage, even something like a few drinks at dinner is national news. Hopefully everyone is with me on rooting for Josh to get back to complete sobriety and never let one of those “weak moments” affect him again.

In my last real bit of news, Brandon Jacobs is apparently going to be a boxing promoter when his football-playing days are done. Brandon Jacobs is apparently already a boxing manager. Brandon Jacobs apparently used to box before turning to football full-time. Dude. I don’t care about the first two – who in their right mind would want to fight BRANDON JACOBS (6’4″, 264 lbs. of solid muscle by the way)?? Hang on, I’m going to go change my boxers. Oops. Accidentally punny.

Oh. And hey…do this: WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Before I leave you with the real Saturday Badass Clip of the Week, I’m going to give you a Badass-in-Training clip. Check this little guy out. Great form! He could beat most of my friends, that’s for sure.

Now for the Real S.B.C.O.T.W. – You’re welcome.

Damn, they are all TERRIBLE shots. All right, I’m out of here. I’m going to go see if the Walnut Creek P.D. will accept a charitable donation for my illegal shenanigans. Peace.


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