Posts Tagged ‘long distance’

Crafting Baseball Pet Names – Pro Tips from the First MLB Fan Cave Couple

March 9, 2013

Jer + Kels pic 3The other day, I sent Kelsey a text message and called her “darling,” which is something I would probably never say in person. It got me thinking about some do’s and do not’s when pet naming your significant other.

When you are a couple of huge baseball fans like Kelsey and I, it goes without saying that first instinct should be to punify (now a word) the names into something MLB-related. So the first MLB Fan Cave couple has compiled some pro tips on how to formulate such names.

I will not reveal if any of the following suggestions have been used in our regular conversation or not (spoiler: some have…liberally), but take a look. Kelsey and I have each come up with two nicknames our gender would like to be called in a romantic baseball relationship, and two that should be avoided like a fastball to Miguel Cabrera.

Read on, friends, family and fellow baseball lovers:

Jeremy (speaking for guys):

Do call me: “Babermetrics”

YOU KNOW WE’RE BASEBALL NERDS. The range factor of our love for you will significantly increase, and the kisses per nine will also be buoyed. And the fact that you’re implying that you like stats as much as we do is a turn on. Get on that!

Don’t call me: “Brian Babean”

A pet name that plays off the real name of a decent GM (for a rival team nonetheless…), who is an old, graying man is the last thing that will make us respond favorably. Even Giants fans don’t like that nickname.

Do call me: “Giancarbeau Stanton”

Not only is “beau” a fancy French word that we all assume means “sexy man beast of mine,” but being associated in any way with Stanton is a massive compliment. We immediately connect his power bombs to our own physical prowess.

Don’t call me: “GiancarBRO Stanton”

Sure, you might be inspired by the Fan Cave Top 30’s fantastic video, but this would not amuse us. “Bro” is not a term you use in any romantic relationship. That’s reserved for our siblings and actual bro’s that we crush beers and watch games with, bro.

Kelsey (speaking for gals):

Do call me: “Main Squeeze Bunt”

Come on…nobody ever stopped liking the phrase “main squeeze.” It’s hard to say without a smile, and we all know bunts can come in handy, too. Just like a good girlfriend!

Don’t call me: “Boo Piniella”

On the other hand, the word “boo” has been overplayed. Not to mention Piniella’s likeness is probably not one a girl would like to adopt. Are you saying we look like old, angry men? That’s immediate grounds for a dirt-kicking, base-throwing tantrum.

Do call me: “Angel in the Outfield”

Okay, it’s really cheesy. And it might remind you of Angel Pagan, the Giants center fielder. But it’s a sweet, simple, and purely baseball-related reference. Being called an angel in almost every context is adorable, but combining it with baseball? Winner.

Don’t call me: “Busch Baby”

It breaks my heart to put something Cardinals-related on my “Don’t” list, but this one doesn’t really stir memories of the majestic ballpark. Instead, you are comparing us ladies to the wide-eyed furry thing that haunts our dreams.

Tweet to us @KelseyShea11 and/or @Jamblinman with your punny baseball pet name suggestions using the hash tag #FanCaveCouple. For more pro tips from the first-ever MLB Fan Cave couple, check out our Valentine’s Day gift-buying guidelines, surviving rival fandom blog, and tips to a long-distance baseball relationship.

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Surviving the Long Distance Baseball Relationship: Pro Tips from the First MLB Fan Cave Couple

March 4, 2013

Kelsey on the first official day of stardom in the WBC Fan Cave! [Photo courtesy of MLB Fan Cave's Facebook page]

Kelsey on the first day of stardom in the WBC Fan Cave with Miss America and three other Dwellers! [Photo courtesy of MLB Fan Cave’s Facebook page]


If you haven’t heard yet, Kelsey was selected to represent Team USA in the World Baseball Classic version of the MLB Fan Cave and has been in New York City for about a week now! She’s absolutely killing it in the Fan Cave and USA could not ask for a more passionate fan.

But what does this mean for our relationship? Cue daunting music here! Just kidding — remember that Kelsey is a Cardinals fan from St. Louis and we’ve spent plenty of time thousands of miles apart.

Living on opposite coasts isn’t fun, because my cheesy baseball pickup lines (“Hey baby, wanna lay down a squeeze?”) don’t work as well through a computer screen. But if anyone knows how to do it, it’s Kelsey and I. Here are a few pro tips from the first-ever MLB Fan Cave couple on how to survive this type of long-distance, baseball-loving drudgery:

Tip #1 – You Can Sleep When You’re Dead

Jeremy: I have a full-time job, but in times like these, sleep is overrated. The World Baseball Classic’s schedule doesn’t necessarily lend itself to a normal R.E.M. cycle, with many of the games starting at absurd hours like 2:30 in the morning. But Kelsey’s job is to stay up and watch every inning of every game, and I’ve been doing my best to keep up. So far, I’ve only missed a few innings of the opening round. I get to chat with my girl and watch a premier international baseball tournament? Count me in.

Kelsey: I’m actually luckier than Jeremy. I get to sleep during the day while he goes to work. But he’s absolutely right! As long as you’re functioning well enough in your job, take that time to connect. It’s important to continue your relationship and find your new rhythm — it will probably be different from the one you have when you’re both at home.

Tip #2 – Surprise Each Other

Kelsey: A good surprise is a special way to remind your partner that you think of them. It shows you’re going out of your way…This could be a package, an unexpected call, even a silly poem. Jeremy and I have been known to have fun with song parodies through text message.

Jeremy: How convenient! It is, after all, Kelsey’s birthday on Friday. She knows there is something coming, but has no idea what is in it. All I can promise is that it’s a little more well-thought-out than a texted song parody. Though a performance of “Don’t Go Chasing Curveballs” might suffice for another occasion.

Tip #3 – A Little Social Media Goes a Long Way

Jeremy: Snail mail takes days, and stamps are annoying to find. Plus, who wants to write a long diatribe with a boring old paper and pen when you can crop it all down to 140 characters and a few hashtags? When Kelsey is doing such a social media-heavy job, she’s bound to be on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and Tout more than most humans are in a lifetime. A favorite here and a retweet there reminds her that I’m paying attention, even from 3,000 miles away!

Kelsey: Gold stars are like virtual kisses and hugs! And this works both ways. Live-tweeting a game can make it feel as if you’re hanging out together. Just make sure to supplement it with personalized text and other forms of communication to make sure your partner knows they’re special.

Tip #4 – Watch Something Together

Kelsey: Baseball games, movies, TV shows…YouTube videos, even. All can be things you share together, even from miles and miles away. It may be tricky to find the time, but hopping on the phone or on Skype and watching something can make it feel as if you’re both in the same place.

Jeremy: Isn’t social media technology awesome? Believe it or not, one of the first memories I have our relationship is watching Inglorious Basterds together on Skype. Meaning, we synced our starting times and each watched in our respective homes as we chatted. It’s not exactly the same, but as good as it gets for replacing regular movie night.

Tip #5 – Keep the Connection Any Way You Can

Jeremy: Not THAT connection. The one that got you together in the first place! America’s pastime. For example, in my daily perusing of baseball news, I saw an article that piqued my interest. It was about Cardinals catcher Yadier Molina giving unprecedented amounts of praise to a minor league pitcher he caught in Spring Training. The content meant a whole lot more to Kelsey, and she told me as much after I sent the story to her. Baseball is our glue, so we keep applying more, no matter what.

Kelsey: Luckily, baseball is one of the sports that has most embraced social media and the online world. It’s easy to share baseball-related content from far away. This will remind you of some of the things you have in common and keep you talking about daily life apart from work and sleep.

To see more pro tips from the first-ever Fan Cave couple, visit our last two blogs. First, one from Valentine’s Day. And how to survive rival fandom.


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