Posts Tagged ‘Justin Smith’

And the Bounty Increases

April 5, 2012

I really do try to stray from football news, especially on Opening Weekend for Major League Baseball. STOKED for that, by the way. Check out my predictions for today’s games, if you missed it last night.

But when something as ridiculous as the Saints’ Bountygate, as it’s come to be known, dominates the headlines, I have to take a look. And then when aforementioned gate of bounty pops up and is directed specifically at my San Francisco 49ers, I get all Mama Bear on it. Hah. That’s funny to imagine me trying to protect monsters like Patrick Willis and Justin Smith.

Anyway, check out the audio from Gregg Williams, the Saints suspended defensive coordinator:

Pretty messed up, huh? I’ve already heard people defending Williams – “All coaches talk like that in the locker room!” Well, first of all…no, they don’t. Secondly, if a large majority of them do, something needs to change. I can totally get behind “BASH HIS BRAINS IN! LAY HIM OUT! JACK HIM UP!” to get players pumped up before a play. But calling out specific players and where to hit them is absolutely ridiculous.

Kill Frank Gore’s head? First of all, that doesn’t make sense. If you’ve killed a person’s head, chances are you’ve killed his entire body. But I wouldn’t expect an idiot like Williams to understand basic human biology. Anyway, how about taking out Michael Crabtree’s ACL, or hitting Kyle Williams (a very inconsequential player in the whole situation) in the head when he’s already displaying concussion symptoms? That’s something the NFL takes very seriously anyway, and now their coaches…er, former coaches…are targeting those injuries?

This makes James Harrison look like a very intimidating altar boy. I’m glad Roger Goodell cracked down so hard, and I really expect him to uphold the suspensions. Especially after this audio came out today.

By the way, Gregg. How did all that talk work out for you? Smith was scared in pre-season was he? Well he looked pretty good planting and confidently throwing the game-winning touchdown to Vernon Davis to knock your sorry asses out of the playoffs last year.

Maybe coaches of teams like this (high-powered offense, hardly a lick of defense to speak of), should teach their players how to properly tackle or cover a receiver before worrying about breaking a guy in half for a measly sum. It might have helped in that game. Just sayin’.

Oh. And the best part of this? Nobody on the 49ers went down in that game. But someone on the Saints sure did. Irony is fun.

The Patriots Are Assholes

February 5, 2012

And I don’t mean that in an I’m-jealous-they-always-win kind of way. I mean that in a how-can-you-cut-a-dude-the-night-before-the-Super-Bowl kind of way? Let alone the one guy who got a Patriots logo shaved into the back of his flat top?! It’s heartless, it’s cruel, and it’s football. It’s the third time Tiquan Underwood has been cut this season.

And for anyone who thinks it’s no big deal because he’s still getting paid and will still get a ring if the Pats pull off the win…well you’ve obviously never played sports. Ninety nine percent of athletes would sacrifice the hardware and the paycheck to actually get to participate in their respective championship game. And I’m sure Underwood is no different; on the surface he may play it cool, but I promise on the inside he’s all like THIS.

We’ve got a snub alert! The major NFL awards were announced yesterday. My balanced, unbiased ballot looked like this:

Coach of the Year – Jim Harbaugh, San Francisco 49ers

MVP – Patrick Willis, San Francisco 49ers

Offensive Rookie of the Year – Kendall Hunter, San Francisco 49ers

Defensive Rookie of the Year – Aldon Smith, San Francisco 49ers

Offensive Player of the Year – Vernon Davis, San Francisco 49ers

Defensive Player of the Year – Justin Smith, San Francisco 49ers

Comeback Player of the Year – Alex Smith, San Francisco 49ers

Walter Payton Man of the Year – NaVorro Bowman, San Francisco 49ers (I don’t know why, I just wanted to give him an award)

All of the above that are in bold were picks I got right. As you can see, the NFL set a record with an 87.5% snub percentage in one season. Seven of the eight obvious choices were wrongly-awarded, denying the great players who truly deserved them. Harbaugh was a shoo-in, that was my easy choice.

But if you actually watched football this year, you’d have to agree that Willis was more deserving of MVP than Aaron Rodgers, Hunter should have unseated Cam Newton, Aldon Smith should have dominated Von Miller, Vernon should have beaten Drew Brees, Justin Smith should have easily won over Terrell Suggs, and Alex Smith should have out-comebacked Matthew Stafford. But it’s okay. I’m used to the 49ers getting snubbed by the East Coast bias.

I’m thinking if I ever meet someone who votes for those idiotic awards, this is how I’ll greet him or her. DAMN. Nice hit. A slight exaggeration on the announcer’s part though. I mean, 25 feet? Really? C’mon dude-iffer!

This is Sunday. Which means it’s the Super Bowl. Which means who gives a shit? I’ve never been this apathetic about the big game. But, I’ll still watch it so that I can write some whiny, annoying blog tomorrow about how lame the re-match was. Aren’t you excited?!

I leave you with some more football. In the Sunday Clip of the Week. It’s long, but if you appreciate good defense, you’ll love this kid’s tape. Check. It. Out.

Time to go destroy some Raider fans at beer pong.


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