Posts Tagged ‘Javy Guerra’

More Baseball Fundamentals

May 30, 2012

Did you watch the Orioles versus Blue Jays game tonight? Of course you didn’t. Why would you? That’s not even 100 percent American, and the Orioles always suck…right?

Wait, they are in first place?! Holy Cal Ripken!

Now that I’ve successfully caught you up to speed on the 2012 baseball season, let me teach you a little somethin’ somethin’.

When you throw a pitch, you gotta finish. And I don’t mean like throw the ball when you’re holding you’re still holding your leg kick. I mean you release the ball and finish in a defensive position.

Because baseballs come back when you throw them, and sometimes they come back HARD. Just ask Javy Guerra. Or ask today’s victim, Brandon Morrow.

If you’re not ready to at least defend yourself against a small, hard object traveling over 100 MPH, you’re toast.

Morrow released a pitch today and was hit in the side of the leg by a line drive. He limped away before being helped off the field. He was very lucky with where the ball hit him, and escaped with just a bruise. But it could have been a lot worse.

And while I would never place complete blame on a pitcher for a thing like this, it’s not ALL Lady Luck’s fault either. Throw the ball, your throwing-side leg comes over with the finish, and you should be standing mostly square to the plate, knees bent, hands up, mind aware.

I kid you not – I tried to do this every single time I threw a pitch in high school. There were some close calls, but I was never hit by a come backer. I was also able to field my position very well.

Greg Maddux, 18-time Gold Glove winner as a pitcher, would tell you the same thing: be prepared for the ball to come back at you.

One of these days a pitcher is going to be severely injured or worse. And if guys like Guerra or Morrow would just be ready for the ball, like they should be, it could be avoided. And those young, up-and-coming little hurlers in middle and high schools might see how well they defend themselves on the mound, and maybe avoid future injuries of their own.

Oh, who am I kidding? Those kids weren’t watching the Orioles and Blue Jays play either.

Until next time, don’t hang that curve ball. Follow me on Twitter @Jamblinman.

Abouttttt FACE!

April 25, 2012

Ten other things Javy Guerra could probably survive if he walked off a baseball hit at his face over 100 MPH from 60 feet away. No seriously, it hit him right in the jaw, and he just kept on pitching. Then promptly blew the save. We don’t have to talk about that.

Here goes:

1. Shark attack

2. Ninja penguins

3. A Coco Crisp punch

4. A Patrick Willis tackle

5. Watching The Fog all the way through

6. Taking a nap in a fireplace…when it’s lit

7. Sitting on a pitchfork

8. A Chuck Norris round house kick

9. An O.J. Simpson robbery

10. Reading how awful this blog is

The Most Pun You’ll Ever Have In a Baseball Blog

April 13, 2012

I love puns. I even still say “Oh, dear” when I see a deer on the side of the road. And chuckle to myself. It’s a personal problem.

I also love baseball. And with a plethora of goofy names at my disposal, I find myself stumbling across accidental puns every single day when talking baseball.

Now, I like my fantasy baseball a lot. But I’m curious – would one of my teams drafted purely on stats and analysis, beat my newest team? The one I’m going to build right here in front of your very eyes? The all-time pun team??

Here goes nothin’:

Catcher – John Buck

Get your mind outta the gutter, people! No cussing necessary! We could be talking about how John “bucks” the trend of most catchers. Perhaps he wears one of those big, stupid cowboy belt Buck-les. When he hits a homer, is it like Buck-shot?

Honorable mention – A.J. Ellis: What the Ellis going on?!

First Base – Justin Smoak

Too easy. He hit a home run in Japan to kick off the 2012 season, and I saw no less than 3,587 tweets within ten minutes about how Justin “Smoaked” the ball. When he’s playing poorly, could he be “smoaking” too much druggage? In a rain delay is he Smoak on the water?

Honorable mention – Adam Dunn: Get ‘er Dunnnnnnn!

Second Base – Jemile Weeks

One of the things I’m really looking forward to this season is for Weeks to start heating up. When he drops a big bomb this year, it’ll be a lot of fun to pull out the double whammy: “He hit that ball a Je-mile! It took Weeks to come down!”

Honorable mention – Dan Uggla: Ohhh man, that was an Uggla swing. (Like…ugly? No?)

Third Base – David Wright

Not only is Wright one of the best players in baseball when healthy, you can expect plenty of easy puns with that last name. Is grabbing David as my third baseman the Wright move? You tell me!

Honorable mention – David Freese: Tonight’s forecast…a FREEEEEEESE!

Shortstop – Derek Jeter

“Jeters never prosper” is still one of the best fantasy team names I’ve ever seen. I really can’t think of much else that works for him but “cheater.” Given the massive amount of fans that seem to hate him, I guess that’s appropriate though.

Honorable mention – Troy Tulowitzki: He threw that ball wayyyyyy Tulo. Heh.

Outfielders – Corey Hart, Andre Ethier, Hunter Pence

That Corey guy on the Brewers really has a Hart of gold doesn’t he? Ethier that or all the ladies Hart Corey! I can’t decide – I Ethier take Andre or Hunter. But Hunter always swings for the Pences.

Honorable mentions – Ryan Braun, Shane Victorino, Jay Bruce: Despite being so Brauny, Jay is a Bruce cannon. Can he still get a Victori…no.

Starting Pitchers – Mark Buehrle, Roy Halladay, Yu Darvish, Matt Cain, Mike Minor

For the defense behind Roy, it feels like a Halladay when he’s pitching. Cain Mark be any more Buehrle? And the Yu puns are just a Minor offense. Do Yu think Yu knows all the words to Yu-th of a Nation by P.O.D.? I surely do. But, do Yu?

Honorable mentions – Doug Fister, Chris Sale, Matt Moore, J.A. Happ, Phil Hughes: It’s a fire Sale in Chicago this year…could they be any Moore pathetic? I guess it’s just Happ-enstance. Chicago fans must be Hughes-d to it by now. (No, I’m not going to even try with Fister…use your imagination, you dirty scoundrels…)

Relief Pitchers – Grant Balfour, J.J. Putz, Brandon League, Jason Motte

I can’t think of a surname worse for a pitcher than Balfour. Usually, that means you just walked the guy. J.J. really Putz people in their places in this League. Was that play even League-l? He’s definitely Motte your average closer.

Honorable mentions – Todd Coffey, Javy Guerra, Aaron Crow, Tyler Chatwood: I could really use a good cup of Coffey. Sweet Crow hop, Aaron! You know what Chatwood be weird? Talking about Javy the Guerracuda. (Okay, that’s my own creation on the last one. I just love me some Javy in the 9th inning!)


There you have it. The all-pun team of 2012! My outfield and pitching is pretty loaded, but I could use a little help at catcher, first and shortstop. I’m accepting all and every trade, so comment below and send those ideas my way! Happy Friday the 13th…don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @Jamblinman. Thanks for reading.

Clayton Kershaw Gives Vin Scully the Flu

April 10, 2012

Good news! Clayton Kershaw is feeling better and ready to roll in his first real start of the season today. Keep an eye out on MLB.tv if you have it, or just follow my frantic tweets @Jamblinman, as first pitch is in about FIVE MINUTES!

Unfortunately for Dodger fans and baseball fans everywhere, Vin Scully is under the weather and won’t be able to call the home opener for the first time in almost 30 years. As entertaining as he is to listen to, Scully isn’t on the field.

But the guys that are taking the field soon are impressing me so far.

Kershaw, despite being limited to 3 innings in his Opening Day start, looked great. He’s defending his Cy Young campaign of 2011 and looks to get off to a hot start with his first win today against Pittsburgh.

The ultimate MVP snub of 2011, Matt Kemp, has started the season hitting .421 with 2 home runs, 8 RBI and a stolen base. His partner in crime is Andre Ethier, who also has 8 RBI and a home run thus far.

What I’m looking for today is how Dee Gordon bounces back from an ugly game against the Padres in the series finale on Sunday. He made an error at shortstop and was nowhere to be found offensively. I fully expect a couple hits and stolen bases in today’s game.

James Loney should bounce back. He hit the ball hard three times on Sunday, but they were right at people. He comes into today’s game 0-for-12 on the season.

My biggest worry is the bullpen. Luckily, with Kershaw on the hill, it’s reasonable to expect him to go 7 innings and then hand the ball over to Kenley Jansen and Javy Guerra for the last two innings. As long as Todd Coffey and Jamey Wright aren’t trusted with leads, we should pull out the home opener.

I wish I could be down in L.A. to see this game – the house should be rockin’ what with the fans’ renewed faith in the new ownership. Baseball is back in Chavez Ravine, and it’s finally FUN again.

Here’s to a big win. Go Blue!


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