Posts Tagged ‘Coco Crisp’

When Haircuts Go Bad

May 17, 2012

Honestly, I could use a trim myself. I can’t decide between going full Bryce Harper or half-Manny, half-Coco Crisp. What do you think? Personally, I’m fond of the latter combo (commonly known as the Afred…Afro Dreads).

No matter which janky SuperCuts I go to though, I guarantee they can’t pull off the artistic magic that someone in San Antonio did for this middle schooler.

First of all, let’s just take a second to stare in wonder and amazement at the ridiculous carvery in that young boy’s hair. The resemblance is uncanny. Secondly, I don’t know much about basketball, but I DO know that Matt Bonner is NOT a big deal. So it’s hilarious that this kid worships a role player.

But hey. To each his own. I worship Alex Smith and I think we all know I’m in the minority there.

Now let’s get to the real issue here. Aside from jealousy over this mystery hair stylist’s marvelous skills, why in the world would school officials at this kid’s middle school be considering an in-school suspension for him (which, funny enough, is even worse than a normal suspension…as the article mentions, who doesn’t want to be sent home from school at that age?)?

It’s not gang-affiliated, nor offensive in any way. Well, maybe to fans of other teams in the Western Conference, who are tired of getting smashed by the Spurs. Is there something menacing about a red-headed, soft-spoken back-up NBA player whose only previous claim to fame is that his last name nearly resembles a word that makes me giggle?

I don’t see it. If schools are going to restrict the type of clothes students wear, I understand. But mandating what kind of haircut is legal is ridiculous. The only thing Matt Bonner is guilty of is being too boring. There is nothing associated with a picture of Bonner that should make school officials offended or squeamish. Hah. Bonner.

By all means, administrators…go ahead and continue to let kids bring switch blades to school, text test answers to each other and smoke pot under the bleachers. But God forbid you allow anyone to shave a picture of their role model into the back of their heads. Riots might ensue!

Lastly, I just want to point out that while school officials everywhere are certainly flexing in the mirror, they are overlooking something rather important.

Bonner is boring, yes. But he was also a straight-A student his entire academic career until he received one “B” in college. If anyone should be a role model for your young students, it’s a public figure such as an NBA athlete who actually has a college degree and good study habits.

Long live the Bonner cut. I dig it.

Thanks for reading, and don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @Jamblinman!

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Abouttttt FACE!

April 25, 2012

Ten other things Javy Guerra could probably survive if he walked off a baseball hit at his face over 100 MPH from 60 feet away. No seriously, it hit him right in the jaw, and he just kept on pitching. Then promptly blew the save. We don’t have to talk about that.

Here goes:

1. Shark attack

2. Ninja penguins

3. A Coco Crisp punch

4. A Patrick Willis tackle

5. Watching The Fog all the way through

6. Taking a nap in a fireplace…when it’s lit

7. Sitting on a pitchfork

8. A Chuck Norris round house kick

9. An O.J. Simpson robbery

10. Reading how awful this blog is

First LIVE baseball game!

April 3, 2012

It’s officially back for me, folks. Last night, I went to AT&T Park to watch the Oakland A’s play the San Francisco Giants in an exhibition game. A final tune-up for the regular season. Except for the A’s, who already played two real games in Japan. Rage. Don’t ask me about that.

Anyway, the Giants pulled out a 4-2 victory behind timely hitting from Brandon Belt and Melky Cabrera. Brian Wilson got an enormous ovation when he trotted in from the bullpen for the save attempt. I hate him with all my might, so needless to say, I stayed in my seat looking at my phone.

But the biggest ovation of the night came for San Francisco’s pride and joy, Buster Posey. He’s back from a horrific leg injury suffered at the beginning of the 2011 season, and while I love his game, I hate his team. So I wasn’t too happy about that.

But enough about my gripes (PSYCHE! Those are just getting started…). Here are some other observations from game one of my soon-to-be epic season of fandom:

– Cliff Pennington is going to have a better season than a lot of people realize. By no means does that make the A’s a contender, but he’s a sleeper. Take him late in your fantasy drafts.

– Giants fans continue to amaze me. And not in a good way. There was a group of sober, jersey-wearing Giants fans within ear shot who didn’t even know who most of their team’s players were. This isn’t a statement on their fan base in general, as I have many good friends who are solid, die-hard Giants fans.

– Eric Sogard turned on a Madison Bumgarner (who looked slightly shaky for once) pitch and pulled it down the line for a two-run homer to start the scoring. Boom!

– Josh Donaldson plays a mean third base. Two very nice running, over the shoulder catches in foul territory. His throwing error was Jemile Weeks’ fault at first base. You don’t stretch with your throwing hand, bro.

– I hate to admit it, but damn it if AT&T  Park isn’t pretty. The view of the Bay is so freakin’ awesome.

– That is, until the seagulls started a coordinated flight pattern over the stadium with intent to poop. No joke, the game was forgotten for at least three innings while people dodged flying gull feces. Props to the…rather large woman three rows ahead of me for laying out like Coco Crisp for a fly ball in order to get away from a white and brown bomb flying at her head. Underrated mobility from that lady.

– My goodness, Aubrey Huff is slow. He failed to cut off a ball that was headed for the corner even though it passed him on its way to the wall about eight feet from where he was originally positioned.

– The aforementioned trailer truck (Huff) didn’t help his case, getting gunned at home on a play at the plate early in the game. But a very nice throw from Josh Reddick in right field!

– Santiago Casilla made a relief appearance for the Giants. And I had his jersey on! From when he played on the A’s. Hashtag, awkward. Good thing I had a jacket on to cover the name so I didn’t look like a complete dweeb. Hey, we all make mistakes.

– My buddy, who later fell asleep in his seat (wtf?!) caught a Yoenis Cespedes homer in batting practice. Does this make him the first person to ever catch a BP home run by Cespedes in an American Major League park?! Hang on to that sucker, dude. Might be worth a few bucks in like 30 years.

– Lastly, the Giants did throw up a pretty sweet montage of the city, complete with the Golden Gate Bridge, Coit Tower, and other recognizable monuments. I giggled to myself in my seat, wondering what an A’s version of that would be. Five minutes of a camera circling Jack London Square?

That’s all I have. It was a great time, despite the flying crap and the final score. Can’t wait until next week when I get to see the A’s for the first time in a game that COUNTS in 2012! Until tomorrow, bring an umbrella to San Francisco. ‘Cause that shit cray. Literally.


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