Posts Tagged ‘Cleveland Indians’

No Excuses

April 14, 2012

There are no excuses in this business. So when I was experiencing blogger’s block earlier today, I thought “HEY. Cut it out! No excuses. No crying in baseball.” And this is what I’ve come up with for today’s Jam Shots:

There is no excuse for whoever that doofy-looking dude on the MLB Network representing the Rays, picked an answer of “Pete Rose” for the category “Hall-of-Famers who played in the 1971 All-Star Game.” I hate you, sir.

There is no excuse for Harold Reynolds on MLB Network choosing Dee Gordon, who started the season almost 100 at-bats over the maximum to be considered a rookie, for his NL Rookie of the Year in 2012. Give me your job, Harold.

There is no excuse for Shin-Soo Choo not knowing how to get out of the way of a fastball that’s coming at him. He fractured his thumb on an inside fastball from Jonathan Sanchez in 2011, and was hit in the same thumb this year by Chris Sale. Both times, he failed to even try to turn his back to the mound, like we are taught at a young age. #Idiot

There is no excuse for Joe Thatcher of the Padres walking Andre Ethier on four straight pitches with the bases loaded in the bottom of the ninth last night. Especially given Ethier’s deficiencies against lefties. But I’m not complaining!

There is no excuse for whoever designed and built the new Miami Marlins stadium. Center field is already 418 feet deep, but you had to make the actual fences 20 feet tall? At least we won’t have to see much of that stupid home run structure.

There is no excuse for whoever hired Skip Bayless.

There is no excuse for blogger’s block. Hence, this gem. Thanks for reading, and comment below if I missed anything that should have no excuses.

Follow me on Twitter @Jamblinman.

Opening Day Predictions

April 4, 2012

Okay, okay. I know the A’s and Mariners played in Japan and the defending-champion Cardinals already defeated the Marlins at the new stadium earlier tonight. But a big slate of games is finally set for tomorrow, and I couldn’t be more excited. 

We’ve got seven games lined up for tomorrow, capped off with reigning Cy Young winner Clayton Kershaw and my Dodger squaring off against the Padres in San Diego. Without further adieu, here are my predictions for tomorrow’s games:

Boston Red Sox at Detroit Tigers: This is the first of the great pitching matchups we’ll see over the first weekend of play, but it might just be the best one. Jon Lester will take the hill against last year’s Cy Young and MVP winner, Justin Verlander. Normally, I’d expect a pitcher’s duel, but Lester is a notorious slow starter, so look for a big game from Miguel Cabrera and Prince Fielder and the Tigers to take the home opener 5-2. (Side note: Jose Valverde will get his 51st straight save, creeping slowly towards the record of 84)

Atlanta Braves at New York Mets: I like this pitching matchup for a number of different reasons. First of all, I really enjoy watching Tommy Hanson pitch. If he’s healthy for Atlanta this year, it’s going to be huge for their playoff aspirations. But the real story here is Johan Santana’s return to the hill after a multitude of injuries have crippled the former Cy Young winner. I’m going to take my first upset, but don’t expect the Mets’ winning streak to last long. Give me the Mets 3-2.

Philadelphia Phillies at Pittsburgh Pirates: Another former ace takes the hill on Opening Day, hoping to rebound. Erik Bedard won’t have as much success as Johan does in New York, although I do expect an above average season out of the lefty in 2012. Roy Halladay is going to be too much for the young Pirates offense, and the Phils take it on the road 5-0.

Washington Nationals at Chicago Cubs: Raise your hand if you’re as excited to see Stephen Strasburg on the mound tomorrow as I am! He takes on the re-tooled Cubs and Ryan Dempster at Wrigley. And I’m sorry Cubbie fans, but the curse will continue, starting with an ugly loss at the hands of the Nats. I’m going to enjoy watching Strasburg go 8 innings with 10 strikeouts in a 7-1 win.

Toronto Blue Jays at Cleveland Indians: This might be the most underrated pitching matchup of the day. If you like young, up-and-coming stars on the bump, this is the game for you. Ricky Romero is my dark horse candidate for A.L. Cy Young this year, and Justin Masterson for Cleveland isn’t far behind. I think this is going to be the best pitching duel of the day. Toronto takes it 1-0 on a late solo homer by Jose Bautista.

Miami Marlins at Cincinnati Reds: One of the Marlins’ big free agent acquisitions is opening this series, and Mark Buerhle can certainly be trusted to give a quality outing. Johnny Cueto gets the ball for Cincy and two very strong offenses will have their respective hands full. Give me the wily veteran for the new-look Marlins’ first win in a 4-3 game.

Los Angeles Dodgers at San Diego Padres: You know this is the one I’ve been waiting to talk about. You’ve gotta like the young lefty Kershaw to start defending his Cy Young title with a pretty dominant win at Petco Park. I think the Dodgers put up a five spot on Edinson Volquez early and chase him from the game. I want to give the Padres a pity run to sound unbiased, but they just aren’t a good enough team to score against Kershaw. Final score: 6-0 Dodgers.

That’s all folks! Call in sick tomorrow, ditch school, and watch MLB Network all day to see my picks put into motion. Happy baseball! Peace.

Fight Night: Who Would Win?

April 2, 2012

Any boxing fans who saw that title are probably severely disappointed. I’m not talking about boxing, or MMA, or even a good old-fashioned “meet me in the parking lot after class, we’re throwing down” fight.

I’m taking inspiration from Ubaldo Jimenez beaning Troy Tulowitzki in the Indians-Rockies Spring Training game over the weekend. Jimenez, the pitcher formerly known as GOOD, who was traded to the Indians from the Rockies last season, beaned his former teammate in the elbow in what looked to be an incredibly intentional move.

Words were exchanged, steps were taken, benches were cleared…and is typical in baseball, nothing happened. So that leaves my imagination to wander: who would have won if the scuffle had turned into a full-on boxing match?

Forget the surrounding drama, I’m focusing on one thing and one thing only. Which gigantic athlete involved here would have whooped the other’s ass into submission?

Would Ubaldo pull a Nolan Ryan and give Troy the old Robin Ventura headlock-and-pound? Maybe Tulo would have charged and given a classic Andre Johnson hay maker to the head of Jimenez, a la Cortland Finnegan!

Either way, it would have been fun to watch. Let’s check out the tale of the tape before making a final decision:

In the purple corner, from Santa Clara, CA, fighting out of Denver, CO…he stands 6’3″ and weights 215 pounds, the INSANE INFIELDERRRRR…TROYYYYY TULOOOOOWITZKI!

And in the red corner, from Nagua in the Dominican Republic, fighting out of Cleveland, OH…standing 6’5″ and weighing in at 210 pounds, the PITCHER OF PAIN….UUUUUUUUBALDOOOOO JIMENEZ!

Now that we’ve gotten through that nonsense, let’s get to the decision. They are similar in size, but a couple differences stand out. First, Ubaldo probably has the reach by a few inches, as he’s exceptionally tall and lanky. That being said, Tulo would be stronger (tell one of those baseballs he’s smacked 450 feet that he’s a pansy…) and might KO Jimenez with the right connection.

Also, Tulo seems to be a more confident, composed person in general. He should be, since he’s one of the bright young MLB stars today. Then again, Jimenez has a chip on his shoulder, especially when it comes to the Colorado Rockies.

I can only imagine though, that Jimenez is more of a fighter than Tulo. I mean, Troy is from the suburbs of California. It would be an entertaining fight to say the least, but I think Jimenez knocks Tulo out in the third round. Given Tulowitzki’s injury history, it probably won’t take much.

Luckily, next time the two face off on the baseball field, the results would be much different. Considering Tulowtizki’s immense talent and Jimenez’s declining pitching skills, chances are Tulo would take him deep. And definitely take his sweet time rounding those bases.

Thanks for indulging in my little fantasy. Until tomorrow…I’ll be at the A’s vs. Giants game. YAY BASEBALL!

And the Freak Gets Freakier

February 7, 2012

Let’s get this out of the way. Congrats, dude. Now hopefully we are done talking football for quite some time. The most mundane ending to a season in the history of the world has occurred, and what a shame if 2012 is actually the last year we all exist. The 49ers are so damn close to the Promised Land!

Anyway, back to the greatest sport in the world, since that’s all anyone really cares about in the sports world between February and October. I’ve got a strange inkling that Tim Lincecum is either awkwardly obese under an extra baggy jersey or might possibly be near death from lack of consumption.

I know those are two extremes, but according to reports, the Freak shed 22 pounds this offseason. Even more troubling, he claims to have been near 200 last season. Um. No chance. WHERE DID THOSE POUNDS DROP FROM? His hair? Among other nicknames, he’s been hailed as “Tiny Tim” for a reason. He’s not a big guy, but he brings a big fastball and some filthy off-speed stuff. He’s incredibly skinny, like the gawky skater kid who always wore a black hoodie in high school and never had his headphones actually off his ears, regardless of whether or not music was playing.

But I guess Lincecum had poundage to lose. And he did, by cutting out McDonald’s (is that even a sacrifice unless you’re painfully hungover?) completely and In-N-Out partially. I can understand losing Mickey D’s, but he’s insane to drop In-N-Out. That is the best, creamy goodness-in-burger ever made. Props to Timmy for making it happen, and time will tell if he will benefit from being that skinny. I know it gets windy by the Bay, so he might need some heavy cleats to keep him on the actual field when he’s pitching.

And hundreds of years later, white people decided to finally do the Native Americans a solid. I’m not sure if this quite makes up for everything, but let’s just let bygones be bygones and rip the unbelievably racist, ghastly savage patches off the Atlanta Braves’ new weekend alternate uniforms.

That is one of the ugliest logos I’ve seen in sports…ever. And on top of that, it’s blatantly offensive. Major League Baseball and the Braves made a very keen decision. For once. Honestly, I am one to side with Native Americans on issues over sports teams using likenesses as logos and mascots and what not, but usually I’m soft on it overall. I don’t think the Indians’ Chief Wahoo is troubling (in fact, he looks quite happy), but that creepy one on the Braves’ uni definitely had to go.

I leave you with a stern message today, kids. Don’t text and drive. Yeah, he wasn’t even close to making that turn. Oops, sorry about your car, Dad.

And of course, drum roll please…the Tuesday Tweet of the Day! Yayyyy! Any Kobe doubters still out there? Bueller? Bueller? Didn’t think so.

I’m gonna go take some cuts in the cage. I’m using Tim Lincecum as my bat. Hah, get it? Okay bye.


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