Posts Tagged ‘Andre Ethier’

Top Ten Thursday

May 10, 2012

I was laughing at one of Brandon Phillips’ tweets yesterday (if you didn’t know who the Reds 2nd baseman was, get off your electronic device and go take a long walk off a short pier), and it got me to thinkin’…I love the game of baseball. But I also love the players.

At risk of sounding like a ditzy middle school girl who is making a list of cute boys she would kiss, here are my top ten “wanna meet” MLB players.

10. Brandon Phillips – Goofy, fun-loving and a hell of a second baseman, my primary high school position!

9. Andre Ethier – Because he’s gorgeous, obviously. Uhh what? No I’d like to ask him how he swings so sweet though.

8. Eric Chavez – One of my all time favorite players from the early 2000’s Oakland A’s. Seems like a nice dude.

7. Lance Berkman – The Big Puma looks like a huge teddy bear and has been one of the coolest dudes around for years.

6. Orlando Hudson – Does this really need explanation? The most badass guy in baseball.

5. Chipper Jones – One of the first guys I remember watching in the 90’s. Incredible player, class act, future hall of famer.

4. Josh Hamilton – He’s the best hitter in baseball right now and had an unbelievable story.

3. Gio Gonzalez – The former Athletic clinched himself a top-3 spot here with his giddy first career hit celebration this season for the Nats.

2. Derek Jeter/Mariano Rivera – Say what you will about the Yankees, but these two guys are classy and will go down in MLB history as two of the greatest players ever. I’d give a nut to shake their hands.

1. Matt Kemp/Clayton Kershaw – If I would give a nut for DJ and Mo, imagine what I would do to meet my favorite player and favorite pitcher on my favorite team. Hall of Fame talents and great guys. Arguably the best pitcher and hitter in baseball today!

There you have it. Let me know who you would want to meet! But I don’t need to know which body parts you’d sacrifice so skip that part. Until tomorrow, thanks for reading Jam Shots! Tune back in tomorrow.

Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @Jamblinman!

No Excuses

April 14, 2012

There are no excuses in this business. So when I was experiencing blogger’s block earlier today, I thought “HEY. Cut it out! No excuses. No crying in baseball.” And this is what I’ve come up with for today’s Jam Shots:

There is no excuse for whoever that doofy-looking dude on the MLB Network representing the Rays, picked an answer of “Pete Rose” for the category “Hall-of-Famers who played in the 1971 All-Star Game.” I hate you, sir.

There is no excuse for Harold Reynolds on MLB Network choosing Dee Gordon, who started the season almost 100 at-bats over the maximum to be considered a rookie, for his NL Rookie of the Year in 2012. Give me your job, Harold.

There is no excuse for Shin-Soo Choo not knowing how to get out of the way of a fastball that’s coming at him. He fractured his thumb on an inside fastball from Jonathan Sanchez in 2011, and was hit in the same thumb this year by Chris Sale. Both times, he failed to even try to turn his back to the mound, like we are taught at a young age. #Idiot

There is no excuse for Joe Thatcher of the Padres walking Andre Ethier on four straight pitches with the bases loaded in the bottom of the ninth last night. Especially given Ethier’s deficiencies against lefties. But I’m not complaining!

There is no excuse for whoever designed and built the new Miami Marlins stadium. Center field is already 418 feet deep, but you had to make the actual fences 20 feet tall? At least we won’t have to see much of that stupid home run structure.

There is no excuse for whoever hired Skip Bayless.

There is no excuse for blogger’s block. Hence, this gem. Thanks for reading, and comment below if I missed anything that should have no excuses.

Follow me on Twitter @Jamblinman.

The Most Pun You’ll Ever Have In a Baseball Blog

April 13, 2012

I love puns. I even still say “Oh, dear” when I see a deer on the side of the road. And chuckle to myself. It’s a personal problem.

I also love baseball. And with a plethora of goofy names at my disposal, I find myself stumbling across accidental puns every single day when talking baseball.

Now, I like my fantasy baseball a lot. But I’m curious – would one of my teams drafted purely on stats and analysis, beat my newest team? The one I’m going to build right here in front of your very eyes? The all-time pun team??

Here goes nothin’:

Catcher – John Buck

Get your mind outta the gutter, people! No cussing necessary! We could be talking about how John “bucks” the trend of most catchers. Perhaps he wears one of those big, stupid cowboy belt Buck-les. When he hits a homer, is it like Buck-shot?

Honorable mention – A.J. Ellis: What the Ellis going on?!

First Base – Justin Smoak

Too easy. He hit a home run in Japan to kick off the 2012 season, and I saw no less than 3,587 tweets within ten minutes about how Justin “Smoaked” the ball. When he’s playing poorly, could he be “smoaking” too much druggage? In a rain delay is he Smoak on the water?

Honorable mention – Adam Dunn: Get ‘er Dunnnnnnn!

Second Base – Jemile Weeks

One of the things I’m really looking forward to this season is for Weeks to start heating up. When he drops a big bomb this year, it’ll be a lot of fun to pull out the double whammy: “He hit that ball a Je-mile! It took Weeks to come down!”

Honorable mention – Dan Uggla: Ohhh man, that was an Uggla swing. (Like…ugly? No?)

Third Base – David Wright

Not only is Wright one of the best players in baseball when healthy, you can expect plenty of easy puns with that last name. Is grabbing David as my third baseman the Wright move? You tell me!

Honorable mention – David Freese: Tonight’s forecast…a FREEEEEEESE!

Shortstop – Derek Jeter

“Jeters never prosper” is still one of the best fantasy team names I’ve ever seen. I really can’t think of much else that works for him but “cheater.” Given the massive amount of fans that seem to hate him, I guess that’s appropriate though.

Honorable mention – Troy Tulowitzki: He threw that ball wayyyyyy Tulo. Heh.

Outfielders – Corey Hart, Andre Ethier, Hunter Pence

That Corey guy on the Brewers really has a Hart of gold doesn’t he? Ethier that or all the ladies Hart Corey! I can’t decide – I Ethier take Andre or Hunter. But Hunter always swings for the Pences.

Honorable mentions – Ryan Braun, Shane Victorino, Jay Bruce: Despite being so Brauny, Jay is a Bruce cannon. Can he still get a Victori…no.

Starting Pitchers – Mark Buehrle, Roy Halladay, Yu Darvish, Matt Cain, Mike Minor

For the defense behind Roy, it feels like a Halladay when he’s pitching. Cain Mark be any more Buehrle? And the Yu puns are just a Minor offense. Do Yu think Yu knows all the words to Yu-th of a Nation by P.O.D.? I surely do. But, do Yu?

Honorable mentions – Doug Fister, Chris Sale, Matt Moore, J.A. Happ, Phil Hughes: It’s a fire Sale in Chicago this year…could they be any Moore pathetic? I guess it’s just Happ-enstance. Chicago fans must be Hughes-d to it by now. (No, I’m not going to even try with Fister…use your imagination, you dirty scoundrels…)

Relief Pitchers – Grant Balfour, J.J. Putz, Brandon League, Jason Motte

I can’t think of a surname worse for a pitcher than Balfour. Usually, that means you just walked the guy. J.J. really Putz people in their places in this League. Was that play even League-l? He’s definitely Motte your average closer.

Honorable mentions – Todd Coffey, Javy Guerra, Aaron Crow, Tyler Chatwood: I could really use a good cup of Coffey. Sweet Crow hop, Aaron! You know what Chatwood be weird? Talking about Javy the Guerracuda. (Okay, that’s my own creation on the last one. I just love me some Javy in the 9th inning!)


There you have it. The all-pun team of 2012! My outfield and pitching is pretty loaded, but I could use a little help at catcher, first and shortstop. I’m accepting all and every trade, so comment below and send those ideas my way! Happy Friday the 13th…don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @Jamblinman. Thanks for reading.

Clayton Kershaw Gives Vin Scully the Flu

April 10, 2012

Good news! Clayton Kershaw is feeling better and ready to roll in his first real start of the season today. Keep an eye out on MLB.tv if you have it, or just follow my frantic tweets @Jamblinman, as first pitch is in about FIVE MINUTES!

Unfortunately for Dodger fans and baseball fans everywhere, Vin Scully is under the weather and won’t be able to call the home opener for the first time in almost 30 years. As entertaining as he is to listen to, Scully isn’t on the field.

But the guys that are taking the field soon are impressing me so far.

Kershaw, despite being limited to 3 innings in his Opening Day start, looked great. He’s defending his Cy Young campaign of 2011 and looks to get off to a hot start with his first win today against Pittsburgh.

The ultimate MVP snub of 2011, Matt Kemp, has started the season hitting .421 with 2 home runs, 8 RBI and a stolen base. His partner in crime is Andre Ethier, who also has 8 RBI and a home run thus far.

What I’m looking for today is how Dee Gordon bounces back from an ugly game against the Padres in the series finale on Sunday. He made an error at shortstop and was nowhere to be found offensively. I fully expect a couple hits and stolen bases in today’s game.

James Loney should bounce back. He hit the ball hard three times on Sunday, but they were right at people. He comes into today’s game 0-for-12 on the season.

My biggest worry is the bullpen. Luckily, with Kershaw on the hill, it’s reasonable to expect him to go 7 innings and then hand the ball over to Kenley Jansen and Javy Guerra for the last two innings. As long as Todd Coffey and Jamey Wright aren’t trusted with leads, we should pull out the home opener.

I wish I could be down in L.A. to see this game – the house should be rockin’ what with the fans’ renewed faith in the new ownership. Baseball is back in Chavez Ravine, and it’s finally FUN again.

Here’s to a big win. Go Blue!


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