Posts Tagged ‘America’

Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop

March 29, 2012

Well this is embarrassing. I set a personal goal this morning during the A’s vs. Mariners game from Tokyo, to out-tweet all nine MLB Fan Cave finalists’ combined total. By myself.

And I think 146 tweets in two and a half hours later, I viciously exceeded my goal.

Can you blame me? Bartolo Colon, of all people, looked like a Cy Young candidate. Yoenis Cespedes hit his first career Major League home run. Crazy stuff was goin’ DOWN in Japan this morning!

Baseball is the only thing that I feel good about staying up that late for. I’m two energy drinks deep and have two more in the fridge, for emergency purposes only. Luckily for me, there will be no more games broadcast at 2 a.m. anymore. And apparently, that’s lucky for you too, if you follow me on Twitter.

I mean, if I were you, it could be worth a look. Might be entertaining. Don’t you want to read all the nonsense I tweet at ungodly hours throughout the night when jacked up on quercetin and other unpronouncably fancy energy supplements?

Honestly, most of those tweets probably fell on deaf ears (eyes…?). Who in their right mind would be so enthralled by someone who tweets “Jonny Gomes sucks #boo” every time he takes a called strike that they actually hit the glorious little Follow button?

I can’t give you a good reason to follow me @Jamblinman. Here’s my best shot: I love baseball with a fiery passion. I love it enough to stay up until 4:30 a.m. when I have to wake up at 6:30 a.m. to drive an hour to work. I love it enough to quit jobs just so I don’t sacrifice baseball time (done it before, will do it again). I love it enough to dedicate a solid portion of my free time every day to thinking, talking and writing about it.

And now that we’ve recorded two official MLB games in 2012, shit’s gonna get even crazier. You realize there are well over 2,000 more games this season right? And I plan on following every single one of them. If I can’t be IN the Fan Cave, I’m damn well gonna pretend I am!

So if you are a lazy baseball fan, follow me on Twitter (again, @Jamblinman) and you don’t even have to look at a box score all season! If you are a crazy baseball fan, follow me on Twitter to argue vehemently with me, or just to have a good ol’ baseball discussion! In 140 characters or less, please.

This is what I do. Can’t stop, won’t stop. Follow me. You won’t regret it. Also, while we’re at it…follow @3u3d to get updates from the cool group of fans who bring you the weekly Three Up, Three Down podcast and blog.

Who knows? You might even get a re-tweet or response from the crew of @_SeasonTicket_ as I traverse the United States this summer in my girlfriend’s car, in dire search of America’s best baseball experience. Yes, you have to follow that one too.

Here’s your task for the day: Log in to Twitter. Search @Jamblinman. Hit “Follow.” Search @3u3d. Hit “Follow.” Search @_SeasonTicket_. Hit “Follow.” Boom. Roasted.

#UntilTomorrow #TweetMe

Hatin’ on Haters

February 17, 2012

Haters will love this blog. Because I’m going to absolutely tear them to shreds, one hateful limb at a time. And then when I’m done, and they are just a pile of dust, bones and coal at my feet, they will have so much new material to hate on that they won’t know what to do with themselves. I’m about to type the name that stirs things up like death eaters flocking to Voldemort: LeBron. James.

Earlier this week, LeBron was asked if he would ever consider returning to Cleveland before retiring. He said yes. Then, Jeremy Lin faded into the shadows, ESPN collectively pooped their pants and the world exploded. In that order. Forget the people hating on the rumor (which is just a whole new realm of hating I can’t even comprehend right now). Let’s talk about the fact that some analysts, fans and radio hosts were outraged at James even suggesting such an awful thing.

How dare he want to come back to the place he called home, to play for the fans he has always loved despite the new threads, for the franchise he essentially rescued from complete and utter destruction? What a selfish, no-good, ugly prick. Don’t you remember how he mercilessly ripped the Cav fans’ hearts out? And he did it in front of millions of people.

That’s like a girl breaking up with you in the middle of lunch in high school, standing on a table in the rally court and yelling through a megaphone about leaving you for the hotter, richer, more successful guy on the varsity team. Granted, it’s a shitty way to get dumped. But what Cleveland (said boy, or “you” in previous sentence), should have done is just cried, watched a few chick flicks, and gotten over it.

Instead they took the path that most do; talking endless crap about this slutty bitch who wasn’t even that good in bed anyway. It looked pathetic, it was pathetic, and it still is pathetic. But guess what? That entire city…no, the entire state got a half-chub just hearing LeBron answer yes to that question. If he were to sign with the Cavs after his time in Miami, the place would go bonkers. All is forgiven! All hail the return of the King!

LeBron was being honest when asked about returning to Cleveland. Yet he’s still wrong. What? It’s perfectly acceptable for him to carry a decrepit franchise for half a decade, bolt for bigger and brighter opportunities, have a successful career and then return to his roots to re-connect with the community that raised him. It’s kinda the circle of life in America.

I’ve grown up in a mid-sized town in Northern California my whole life. Then I went off to college in Washington. Now, I’m on my way to being the biggest, baddest blogger in the world. Nobody in Walnut Creek, CA is burning pictures of me or sending me death threats. And I will be the first to publicly admit that I’d love to come back to Northern California some day. After I’ve achieved all my goals and had some mad success in a big city somewhere.

Get off LeBron’s back. He’s always loved Cleveland, he always will, and some day he might even come home. You can either be the ex-boyfriend-turned-best-friend, or you can bitch and moan in his shadow forever, stealing glances at him like Gollum at Frodo.

By the way, The Decision? Raised over a million dollars for charity. Sorry haters, you just weren’t good enough for LeBron. He moved on. And when he allows you back into his graceful company, it will be your choice whether or not to forgive your sad, selfish qualms.

Long live the King. Make love, not war. And always wear a seat belt. Later haters.

 


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