Let’s Give Some Love to the Little, Weird Guys

So I love sports…I can’t always explain why or how, but I just do. Always have. I thirst for the competition and camaraderie that comes with a game like soccer. Or the strategy and technicality that comes with baseball. The physical insanity that is demanded of football and basketball players.

But there are a lot of strange sports out there too – we all know about curling, trampolining, etc. These are “weird” sports, sure. They are also in Olympic competition, an honor not bestowed upon many other fantastic, awkward sports. For example, have you heard of Blo Ball?

It consists of a ping-pong style set up, and instead of using paddles, the two players blow the ping pong ball back and forth and try to get it past the other. It’s a really stupid mix of ping pong and air hockey. And it’s awesome.

So I thought, hey let’s give a little love to the underdog. Let’s forget the thunderous dunks, mammoth home runs and big hits of NFL Sunday for a minute. Let’s focus on the little guy. So without further adieu, here is my bracket to determine the best “weird” sport out there (click on picture to enlarge bracket):

This is where you all come in. I need your help. If it was up to me, I’d end up just letting curling take the title because I think it’s so freakin’ cool. To avoid my own personal bias for the great shuffleboard-on-ice, we’re putting it to a vote. Let me break down the first round match ups, then tell me which sport should move on to the Elite Eight!

Hang with me here. The first round is always the longest, but you have nothing better to do any way!

(8) Solo Synchronized Swimming vs. (1) Slalom Canoeing

Believe it or not, both of these sports were represented in the Olympics. I was absolutely transfixed by slalom canoeing this year, mostly because I’ve worked at a whitewater rafting company for half a decade now. What they do is a timed slalom course where they go through gates and race for the fastest overall time to the end. The catch is they have to go through every second gate upstream, and are penalized for touching any of the gates – check it out here! And no, you didn’t misread that first one – there is such a thing as solo synchronized swimming. The fact that it’s called that was reason enough to give it an 8th seed, but when you watch the video the ridiculousness is just multiplied.

(7) Middleball vs. (2) Racewalking

What do you get when you combine volleyball, a beach ball and a racquetball court? You get middleball. That’s really all it is. Have fun playing with your grandparents! This is a tough match up against one of the most unique but hilarious sports out there. The Olympic sport of racewalking. It gets a number two seed just for being hilarious.

(6) Chess Boxing vs. (3) Joggling

The reason I initially seeded joggling as the higher of these two is because I had the idea in my head that it was super awesome. Then I looked it up. It’s kind of funny, but mostly just a snoozer. It does take coordination though. But you’re telling me that the most mentally draining sport in the world, combined with the most physically demanding isn’t more awesome? Because I just defined chess boxing for you. Absolutely crazy!

(5) Zorbing vs. (4) Kabaddi

Another disappointing one for me was Zorbing. Don’t get me wrong, it looks like a ton of fun. But is it really a “sport?” You basically just get in a big, plastic bubble and roll down a hill. At least Kabaddi has some strategy and teamwork involved. It doesn’t get much weirder than a sport that requires you to hold your breath and chant the name of the game. I still don’t really get it, but Kabaddi is just strange enough to possibly move on.

(8) Phasketboot vs. (1) Curling

I feel bad for Phasketboot lovers. All nine of them. It’s a very strange made-up game, but it’s also very stupid. It didn’t stand a chance to begin with against curling, the king of weird sports. Phasketboot is advertised as a hybrid of basketball, football and ultimate frisbee – but it’s mostly just confusing. We all know what curling is, but check out this video anyway!

(7) Octopush vs. (2) Trampolining

Octopush (a.k.a. Underwater Hockey) gets bonus points for having a cool name, but it’s going to be a tough match up against the Olympic sport of trampolining. As cool as it sounds, octopush really just combines snorkeling with underwater field hockey. I can’t help but laugh at the little sticks they use, either. Check out this synchronized trampolining routine I found – straight insanity!

(6) Toe Wrestling vs. (3) Bossaball

Seriously? Who likes feet so much that you’d be willing to take the career path of a professional toe wrestler? This one smells funky to me (it’s the same thing as arm wrestling, just with big toes). On the other hand, Bossaball is freakin’ awesome! The whole point of bossaball is to spike the ball in a three-point zone. It’s an inflatable volleyball court with trampolines in the middle. Just…just watch. And be amazed.

(5) Blo Ball vs. (4) Fistball

I detailed Blo Ball in the introduction, but here’s a video for you. It is as weird as it sounds, yes. Fistball intrigues me. That’s totally something I could play with my friends in a park, as long as we have a volleyball net set up. It’s basically long-distance volleyball using only fists, and the ball is supposed to bounce once. Check it out here.

Okay, adoring public. It’s up to you! Tell me who moves to the Elite Eight, and I’ll have the next round blogged up and ready to go as soon as I get some results.

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