Monday, July 9th, 2012: The 2nd Worst Day of the Year

The worst part of the first worst day of the year is that it comes two days after the second worst day of the year. So today is technically worse than Monday in my world. But we’re talking about number two. I don’t think I can handle number one.

No, I didn’t get fired or dumped. No, the Dodgers didn’t lose (in fact, the National League won the All-Star Game…so THERE!). No, my pets’ heads aren’t falling off.

But Monday was one of two calendar days the entire year that no MLB, NFL, NBA and NHL games were scheduled. None. Zero. I…nearly cried.

I don’t even really watch hockey. But if it was on, I would have made an exception. Instead, I was stuck with the always-entertaining Home Run Derby that had as much significance to the 2012 baseball season as the Pro Bowl has on…life. And stuff.

Tonight, I had the ESPY’s as an option. Thankfully, it was my father’s 87th 57th birthday…so I got out of the house instead of watching a glammed-up popularity contest.

But do you know how I felt turning on MLB Network only to see fluff and replays of ancient All-Star Games? Or turning on Sportscenter to find cricket as the lead story?

Like this.

That was about apocolyptic as it gets for someone like me. Taking sports away from me is like stealing a rattle from a baby. A bone from a dog. A joint from Tim Lincecum. The sports gods took away the thing I’ve loved my whole life and left me hopeless, cold and alone.

Have you ever watched one of those awful documentaries about drug addicts having withdrawals and recovering in rehab? That was me. Scratching at myself, shivering, foaming at the mouth. It was really uncomfortable.

Technically there was ONE game tonight. Real athletes in real uniforms playing a real sport in a real stadium in front of real fans. But it was the MLS and it was two Canadian teams.

So, my sickness remained.

Luckily, I have great friends and family to pull me through rough days like this. My girlfriend and one of our close friends (through the MLB Fan Cave process, naturally) had a perfect remedy for my illness.

No baseball, football, basketball, hockey, curling, darts, poker, Bolivian shuffleboard or even NASCAR on TV? No problem.

Because I went to a Minor League baseball game. Thanks for pretending you’re surprised.

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