When Haircuts Go Bad

Honestly, I could use a trim myself. I can’t decide between going full Bryce Harper or half-Manny, half-Coco Crisp. What do you think? Personally, I’m fond of the latter combo (commonly known as the Afred…Afro Dreads).

No matter which janky SuperCuts I go to though, I guarantee they can’t pull off the artistic magic that someone in San Antonio did for this middle schooler.

First of all, let’s just take a second to stare in wonder and amazement at the ridiculous carvery in that young boy’s hair. The resemblance is uncanny. Secondly, I don’t know much about basketball, but I DO know that Matt Bonner is NOT a big deal. So it’s hilarious that this kid worships a role player.

But hey. To each his own. I worship Alex Smith and I think we all know I’m in the minority there.

Now let’s get to the real issue here. Aside from jealousy over this mystery hair stylist’s marvelous skills, why in the world would school officials at this kid’s middle school be considering an in-school suspension for him (which, funny enough, is even worse than a normal suspension…as the article mentions, who doesn’t want to be sent home from school at that age?)?

It’s not gang-affiliated, nor offensive in any way. Well, maybe to fans of other teams in the Western Conference, who are tired of getting smashed by the Spurs. Is there something menacing about a red-headed, soft-spoken back-up NBA player whose only previous claim to fame is that his last name nearly resembles a word that makes me giggle?

I don’t see it. If schools are going to restrict the type of clothes students wear, I understand. But mandating what kind of haircut is legal is ridiculous. The only thing Matt Bonner is guilty of is being too boring. There is nothing associated with a picture of Bonner that should make school officials offended or squeamish. Hah. Bonner.

By all means, administrators…go ahead and continue to let kids bring switch blades to school, text test answers to each other and smoke pot under the bleachers. But God forbid you allow anyone to shave a picture of their role model into the back of their heads. Riots might ensue!

Lastly, I just want to point out that while school officials everywhere are certainly flexing in the mirror, they are overlooking something rather important.

Bonner is boring, yes. But he was also a straight-A student his entire academic career until he received one “B” in college. If anyone should be a role model for your young students, it’s a public figure such as an NBA athlete who actually has a college degree and good study habits.

Long live the Bonner cut. I dig it.

Thanks for reading, and don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @Jamblinman!

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