Hatin’ on Haters (Again)

If you’ve forgotten already, one of my favorite pastimes is hating on haters. I wrote a scathing blog about people who hated on LeBron James for riding his bike to an NBA game. And I’m about to hate on the second most hated man’s haters this time around.

This is actually more of a statement on Journalism in general, but here goes:

Who would EVER want to work for a tabloid newspaper? I understand that if you are a Journalist in New York you are either into tabloids, politics, money or unemployed. But the mere fact that Alex Rodriguez brought his 20-year-old niece on a birthday shopping spree is not fodder for news.

Today is a bad news day. On Yahoo! mail earlier, there were two news stories. The lead story: Beyonce Flaunts Postbaby Look. Buried below it: Search for Missing Teen. Excuse me while I go punch humanity in the face.

My point is, why are people so enamored with what celebrities are and are not doing? Unless Beyonce is naked or has some kind of Cloverfield-style deformity that will just blow my mind, I don’t really give a hoot about that story.

Similarly, if Alex Rodriguez had laid a forearm shiver to the Easter Bunny in the middle of Central Park while cracked out on hard drugs, I’ll read. Because that would be hilarious no matter who it was. But if A-Rod was trying to give his niece a gift, but accidentally mis-read the return policy, this isn’t news.

If A-Rod had gone back with a baseball bat and shredded the register with a few big cuts, it’s news. Even if the tabloids had taken an angle like how did he afford all that?, it would have been stupid but at least relevant to the situation. It seems to me that Rodriguez and his sister need to have a little chat, because what people are forgetting is that the $17,000 he reportedly spent is literally one at-bat over the course of a season.

You know what I want to see? A story on A-Rod where the journalist sits him down, and says “What do you love about baseball?” Or something to that effect. Because I’m tired of seeing him share popcorn with a girlfriend (wow, what a unique experience!) or bring his own food to restaurants in order to cater to the public’s hypocritical demands that he constantly be in shape and performing on the field to justify the millions of dollars he makes from our own grabby, nacho and beer-buying hands.

Give the guy a break. He did something nice for a family member. Then he ran into a normal, human, every day problem that just happened to have a much bigger price tag attached to it. One that he can afford. He’s human, these things happen.

Not only am I boycotting Yahoo! mail, but I’m done living here. I’m taking my talents to South Beach. And I’m picking up Alex on the way. Me, him and LeBron are gonna go chill. Give us a ring if you want to kick it (especially LeBron, he could really use a ring…ZING!).

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