I Just Can’t Wait to Be King

…Or at least as good as King James at dunking. My goodness, I’m an awesome blitler (blog titler) aren’t I? And pretty talented at referencing fantastic movies. Don’t worry, I’ll put the link in eventually. But not until the end so you’re forced to read this entire post. MUAHAHAHA!

Whoa. Sorry. Anyways, the reason I bring up LeBron is because of his dunk against the Bulls yesterday. Oh my god. Take a minute to watch that again. Poor John Lucas didn’t even know what hit him.

How do human beings possess the ability to jump that high? He just cleared a six-foot tall man like he was stepping out of bed. There’s no doubt in my mind that I’d give my left nut (it’s really just not up to par with the right one) to be that type of athlete.

But instead, I’m a sports junkie, who sits on the couch taking hits of SportsCenter and SportsNation and whatever else I can get my hands on.

Even if it’s something as weak as the NFL’s Pro Bowl. Brandon Marshall put on a one-man show, hauling in four touchdown passes in the AFC’s all-important win. I only watched bits and pieces, but it was really like watching the Patriots play…the Patriots. Explosive offenses against shitty, out of shape, lazy defenses. Granted, it’s a pointless exhibition but it’s still frustrating to see DBs just standing there as wide outs run right past them.

If Pete Rose was a football player he would have had a least three or four sacks in the Pro Bowl. Just sayin’.

Now, I have one question for all you winter sports geeks out there. Shaun White is the champ, we all know it. Even if he’s annoying and ugly. And he definitely had the best run in the SuperPipe competition last night. But how does he register the first perfect 100.00 score in the history of the event, when he had to put his hand down on one of the landings? That sounds like a pretty glaring bias in judging.

Must be good to be King, eh Shaun?

Well, it’s Monday people. You know what that means. A guaranteed clip to ruin your already crappy day. I introduce, the worst actor in the history of film in the Monday Nic Cage Clip of the Week.

Now get off me, I need to go work on my vert.

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